Staff Sergeant Zelmo Zale, played by Johnny Haymer, appeared in 20 episodes of MASH, beginning in Season 2, Episode 17, For Want of a Boot. His main purpose was to be a hot-headed source of arguments, especially for Klinger, whose buttons he would frequently try to push in hopes of starting a fight. His last appearance was in the first part of Goodbye, Radar, Season 8, Episode 4. After this, the character disappeared and was replaced by Staff Sergeant Luther Rizzo, played by G.W. Bailey, who first appeared just after Radar departed. Why was the character of Zale dropped in favor of Rizzo?
Who Was Sergeant Zelmo Zale?
In Zale’s first episode, Season 2, Episode 17, For Want of a Boot, he was the supply sergeant, and so was immediately set up as a nemesis, refusing to order a pair of new boots for Hawkeye without a quid-pro-quo favor from Pierce. Most sources describe him, then, as being the supply sergeant. He is referenced as the supply sergeant in Season 4, Episode 3, titled Change of Command.
However, another supply sergeant was depicted during Zale’s tenure on the show, and the character was shown doing other jobs, including being the camp’s electrician or repairman. At one point, he is shown working in the kitchen (Season 4, Episode 20, The Novocaine Mutiny). While temporarily in command, Frank is inspecting the kitchen and Zale, wearing an apron, appears to be in charge of it. We could assume that Zale was on KP duty, but a staff sergeant in charge of supplies would be unlikely to pull this sort of temporary duty. Also, while inspecting the freezer, he refers to it as Zale’s freezer.
Based on these discrepancies, it is unclear whether Zale’s official job was supposed to be defined, especially since we never see him performing supply duties after his first appearance. His role was ill-defined, at best. It’s quite likely that various MASH writers could have forgotten what his job was supposed to be, since it was not necessary to the plot of most of the episodes in which he appeared.
Zale’s most significant appearance was in Season 4, Episode 12, titled Of Moose and Men. In this episode, B.J. tries to comfort the sergeant, who is upset that his wife is seeing another man. His wife, Zilda, in her letter, is trying to apologize, and B.J. says a woman who would write such a letter deserves another chance. Zale, of course, reacts with anger and revenge on his mind. Fueled by bourbon, he punches the mess tent stove and breaks his hand.
B.J. offers to write a letter to Zale’s wife, since his hand is injured. Zale dictates an angry and hateful response to his wife’s infidelity, listing all the monetary things he’s done for her. B.J. is called away but later finds out from Radar that Zale is being hypocritical, and completes the letter himself. He takes the letter to Zale, whom he finds in the company of his “moose.” Radar had explained to B.J. that a moose is a Korean girlfriend to an American serviceman. This definition is somewhat sanitized from earlier episodes, when a moose was not just a girlfriend, but a servant. Indeed, these women were often purchased from their families or keepers.
B.J. calls Zale out on his hypocrisy and double standard, and has the sergeant sign the completed letter, in which he has forgiven his wife.
While Zale’s last appearance is in Goodbye, Radar (Season 8, Episode 4), the character was actually mentioned, but not shown, in Season 8, Episode 15, titled Yessir, That’s Our Baby. This is the last we hear of him.
The Character’s Funniest Moment
Zale’s funniest moment comes in Season 4, Episode 13, titled Soldier of the Month. In this episode, a new directive has instituted a morale-boosting contest called Soldier of the Month, in which the winner gets a week’s R&R in Tokyo. A lot of saluting and dressing up ensues. Frank is supposed to be the judge, but he comes down with the hemorrhagic fever that is going around, leaving Hawkeye and B.J. to run the contest.
Among the contestants, Radar, Klinger, Igor, and Zale become the finalists. All of them but Igor try their hardest to win, with comical results. Hawkeye and B.J. give the finalists a quiz to see who knows the most about U.S. History. Igor, it seems, is only concerned with the refreshments he thought were going to be served.
Klinger gets into the safe and reads the official quiz in advance, writing the answers all over his body and memorizing them. Unfortunately, he “memorizes them in order” and Hawkeye and B.J. give the questions randomly. When he learns that Hawkeye is mixing up the questions, he responds with exasperation, “You can’t do that, sir! I learned history from the beginning.”
During the quiz, Radar is clearly the most knowledgeable and ends up winning. Zale is as angry as usual, especially since Klinger is there, and impatient to begin, so he doesn’t forget what he’s learned. He has some funny responses to questions:
Hawkeye: “Sergeant Zale, many of the settlers who came to California in 1848 were searching for what?
Zale: “Palm trees. How the hell do I know, I’m from Brooklyn.”
Later, Zale interjects, “Hey, when you gonna get to some capitals? I know a lot of state capitals. I’ll show you. Ask me the capital of Cleveland.”
Why Did Sergeant Zale Stop Appearing?
Staff Sergeant Zelmo Zale was only a recurring character on the show. Haymer was called in to guest-star in only a handful of episodes. He was never meant to be a regular. Therefore, there is no complicated reason for his departure. He simply was not written into future episodes. However, there may be several reasons for this.
One reason is that while Zale certainly made his presence known to viewers, the character was fairly cardboard. He existed mostly as a device for other characters. For example, his antagonizing of Klinger served as a means for the audience to see Klinger’s more comical reactions. From a writing perspective, it is difficult to make a character funny whose defining personality trait is anger.
Zale is also portrayed as self-serving, hypocritical, and conniving, but it’s his anger that most identifies his character. Only so many scenes can be written for such a character before they begin repeating themselves. In this way, he was much like Frank Burns, who only existed for other characters to react to, play pranks on, etc.
At some point, a decision was made to replace Zale with Staff Sergeant Luther Rizzo. While Rizzo only appeared in 13 episodes, his character was somewhat better defined and more interesting. Like Zale, Rizzo was a complainer and prone to anger. He was, however, more laid-back and, unlike Zale, he was just as likely to be napping in the motor pool, where he worked, and avoiding work as much as possible. While he was at first meant to also be from Brooklyn, his home was changed to Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Rizzo’s slow Southern drawl and laid-back, disheveled style were in contrast to Zale’s loud, fast-talking one.
While Zale was angry just to be angry, Rizzo’s lazy complaining had a purpose. During one episode, he explained his philosophy to Klinger in between motor pool naps. He told Klinger that the secret to success in the Army was to convince them you are miserable. If the Army thinks you are happy, they want to know why and will never leave you alone. As long as they think you are unhappy, everybody leaves you alone and you can get away with never doing any work. Despite this philosophy, Rizzo seemed to keep the vehicles running.
Rizzo had a number of more complex interactions with other characters, including Charles, and displayed some cunning, albeit of a slightly malevolent nature. He had a number of funny lines and, all in all, was just a better character.
About the Actor
Sergeant Zelmo Zale, the hot-headed Brooklyn native, was portrayed by actor Johnny Haymer, who made guest appearances on numerous television shows through the 1970s and 1980s. Other than MASH, his most significant roles were as Walter Pinkerton in Madame’s Place (74 episodes, 1982-82) and as several characters on Transformers: Five. He appeared in the penultimate episode of Star Trek TOS, The Wild Wild West, Three’s Company, Eight is Enough, Mork & Mindy, and many more. In 1988, He appeared in the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall.
