This is the second time I’ve found myself reacting to a Screen Rant article. What can I say, there is fact and there is just “let’s make some stuff up.” It’s not that any of the facts in this article are wrong; it’s that the heady consequences described never occurred. In the piece titled MASH’s Failed Radar Spinoff Makes One Controversial Character Decision So Much More Frustrating, the author contends that the MASH spinoff about Radar O’Reilly, called Walter, soured the taste of Radar’s perfect ending in Season 8 of MASH.
No, the Walter pilot did not sour people on Radar O’Reilly, unless you project imaginary thoughts into the brains of millions of MASH fans. For the Walter spinoff to have soured people on the ending of Radar on MASH, people would have needed to see it. First, for some background.
Radar is given his sendoff at the end of Season 8 of MASH, in a two-part episode, Goodbye, Radar. A letter arrives from home, informing Radar of the death of his uncle, who had been helping his mother run the farm. Radar’s mom is not getting any younger, and she can’t possibly run the farm alone. Colonel Potter tells Radar that this is enough to send him home on a hardship discharge. Radar is hesitant to leave the 4077th at first because he fears the unit will fall apart without him. But Hawkeye talks with him and tells him not to be an idiot, and Radar changes his mind and decides to go home to Iowa, back to the farm.
After eleven years on the air, everyone involved with M*A*S*H decided to call it quits before the show became stale and repetitive. CBS tried out some MASH spinoffs. AfterMASH was moderately successful. And Trapper John, M.D., well, that has nothing to do with it. Another attempt at a spinoff was a show about the continuing adventures of Radar O’Reilly, called Walter. A pilot episode was filmed, but it was never sold—meaning, no show.
In this pilot, instead of getting Radar running a farm and perhaps married to that cute girl (who lives nearby) he met before leaving Korea, we get Radar as a rookie cop in St. Louis, Missouri. He failed as a farmer, his new wife, Sandy, left him, he contemplated suicide, and now he’s a cop in a city. A city, of all places!
Walter, MASH Spinoff Detailed Synopsis
Taking place in 1954, events in the Walter pilot take up where AfterMash left off. In AfterMash, we learn that Radar basically ditched his wedding and ran to Colonel Potter to cry and whine about how he had just found out that his fiancée, Sandy, had slept with his cousin, Claude Greevy. Everything works out in the end, and they get married anyway in a wedding officiated by Father Mulcahy.
Except everything didn’t turn out all right. In the Walter pilot, we learn that Radar’s farm had failed, and he had sent his mom to live with his aunt. His wife Sandy had left him for you-know-who, good old Claude. He ended up in St. Louis, his life a shambles, depressed and suicidal. He walks into a drug store to get some pills to end it all, and a kind and compassionate pharmacy clerk named Victoria (Victoria Jackson) talks him out of it. She becomes his good friend.
Radar’s cousin, Wendel Micklejohn, who is a good cousin, not a bad cousin like Claude, is a police officer in St. Louis. Radar moves in with Wendel, and Wendel gets him a job as a police officer.
Scene 1
The pilot begins in the cousins’ apartment. Radar’s cousin, Wendel, is finishing getting ready for work while listening to the radio. Wendel is in a hurry for Radar to be ready because he wants to be able to see themselves on television before they leave for work. He tells Walter to hurry up, and Walter responds that they don’t have time, since they’re on the ten o’clock shift. Walter appears, dressed in his police uniform, and Wendell tells him he looks good, saying, “Not bad for off the rack.”
The two watch the beginning of Radar’s recent interview with Clete Roberts, who has been interviewing former members of the 4077 MASH. The last person he interviewed before Radar was Hawkeye Pierce. Now, it’s time for Radar’s interview to be aired. Wendel and Walter watch the beginning of the interview before leaving for work. When Roberts refers to him as Radar, Walter, in the apartment, says, “Walter.” This is when we learn that he has rejected his nickname.
Scene 2
The two arrive at the police station. Walter’s abilities are referenced a couple of times. A colleague reminds Wendel that he owes him money, and he says, “The check’s in the mail.”
Scene 3
The two continue watching the program, along with other officers, in the TV room at the station after arriving for work.
As the interview begins in earnest, we see the first of many moments that mark the pilot as a mismatch of “cute moments” and sad, depressing ones, along with too many political overtones. Radar explains that he refused government subsidies, wanting to stand on his own two feet. He planted things, and they died. At this moment, the laugh track kicks in as if Radar’s crops dying is supposed to be funny. Unfortunately, there is nothing remotely funny about the interview.
Flashback Scene 1
Radar says the hardest thing he ever did was say goodbye to Eleanor after losing the farm. Flash to a flashback scene with Radar talking to Eleanor, vowing to buy the farm back. The camera pans down to reveal that Walter is comforting a pig. The laugh track once again informs us this is funny, but it’s still only sad and maudlin. Among the many things wrong with this scene, including Burghoff’s forced acting, is that Walter is wearing a spick-and-span flannel shirt and overalls that look as if they had never seen a day’s work.
Cut back to the interview, Radar explains that before coming to St. Louis, he had to find a place for his mom to stay. He says, “Luckily, Aunt Lucille’s husband Arthur died down in Davenport, so there was room” (Laugh track).
“And that’s when you joined the police force,” interjects Roberts. Walter then brings in his cousin Wendel. At this point, in the police station, a ridiculously loud Police Captain bursts into the room saying, “What the hell is this, Howdy Doody time?!” He explains that the TV is only for emergencies and scolds them for watching it while there is a city out there “seething with crime.” More laugh track, no laughs.
Scene 4
In the next scene, Radar and Wendel are out on the beat. They stop in front of a store window with a television, where Wendel sees that the interview is still going on. There is a small crowd in front of the window, although it’s not clear whether they are interested in the interview or whether they are interested in television in general, as at least half of the population still didn’t have one in those days.
The interview continues. Cleve Roberts refers to Walter as a new bridegroom, and Walter corrects him, explaining that he is no longer married. Here, we learn that Walter and Sandy never got past their honeymoon. Walter explains that he and his wife were passing through St. Louis on their way to Gooseneck Falls, “which is just like Niagara Falls except with no water,” (laugh track). Roberts says, “Well, that sounds like a nice spot.” “I don’t know, we never got there,” responds Walter.
Flashback Scene 2
In a second flashback scene, Radar had left Sandy in the hotel room while he went to get the pickup truck greased. When he got back to the hotel, he found a note from his wife. She tells him, “Thanks for the nice honeymoon. I love you.” She then explains that she loves Claude Greevy more, telling him, in so many words, that Claude is more exciting.
Flashback Scene 3
The flashback continues. A wide shot through a window of Radar walking across the street, still in the same suit we saw in the hotel room. In audio only, Cleve Roberts references the “American dream is shattered,” and Walter responds, “Gee, that sounds kind of good the way you say that.” This is about as close as we have gotten to a truly Radar-like statement, but it still fails to hit the right tone.
Radar walks into the store from where the camera shot is taking place. It’s a drug store. In the inteview audio, Radar explains that he went kind of crazy after his wife ran off and almost did something foolish. He found himself wandering into a drug store. In the scene, the awkwardly misplaced laugh track continues for no apparent reason as Walter makes his way across the street and into the drug store.
Scene 7
In my opinion, this is one of the only scenes in the entire pilot that comes close to getting the tone right, despite the dark circumstances. Much of this is owed to Victoria Jackson, the pharmacy clerk. Her quirkiness, gentleness, and her signature voice form just the right juxtaposition for Walter’s emotional state.
As Walter picks up some brushes, she tells him, “There’s a special on these; genuine beaver bristles. They’re very good brushes.” Walter responds, “Uh, yeah, you hardly ever see a beaver with unruly hair.” This is almost a funny joke except for the fact that Walter uses the term ‘unruly’ instead of the phrase ‘messed up,’ and the fact that the joke was set up incorrectly in the first place, as Victoria should have simply said “These are genuine beaver brushes.” Walter’s improbable vocabulary, by the way, is something that plagues the entire pilot.
Walter is about to leave, but Victoria talks him into telling her what he came in for. He tells her he wants an overdose of sleeping pills and some aspirin, “because sleeping pills give me a headache.” She tells him the pharmacist is not there and in an effort to cheer him up, feeds him some soup from behind the soda fountain counter. Part of this “cheering up” is particularly uninspired and consists of Victoria Jackson’s typical routine in which she does some awkward tap dancing, dances on the counter, and ends with a handstand and a split, similar to things she was known for on Saturday Night Live.
After this cheering up, the scene cuts back to the interview, where Walter is explaining that she not only saved his life, she cheered him up, and “we’re good friends.”
Scene 8
The interview is concluded, and the crowd watching the show realizes that Walter and Wendel are the guys from the television, and they ask for autographs. Walter is hesitant because they are on duty, but Wendel talks him into it. Much of the pilot seems to be people talking Radar into things or out of things.
Walter signs an autograph for a young kid, and it turns out the kid has swiped Walter’s wallet. Walter tries to call it in and identify himself as the victim, but Wendel talks him out of it (see my point?). Wendel takes the phone before Walter can embarrass himself and admit that he, a police officer, was pick-pocketed.
The dispatcher, Bigelow, tells Wendel to forget about the pick-pocket because something big is afoot. That something big is two strippers fighting backstage at the Elite Burlesque. Now comes an attempt to return to the Radar of old, who is once again hesitant to do something, this time because “those ladies are naked; that’s all new stuff to me.”
When Walter claims he closed his eyes during his honeymoon (so as not to see his wife nude), it’s just corny and a bit pathetic. Shy, innocent, and naive Radar back at the 4077th could get away with being shy about nudity (even though he used to peek through the hole in the nurse’s tent), but for this new Walter, it sticks out as a brazen attempt by the writers to have it both ways.
Walter is still concerned about his Wallet, especially his MASH photos, as he considers the people from MASH to be like family. He then realizes, in a very Radar fashion, that a lock of hair from his pig was in his Wallet as well. For a moment, we are starting to get a glimpse of the old Radar from MASH. His reactions, for the first time, are on point.
After this, Wendel, while telling Walter to let this be a lesson to him to keep his wallet in his back pocket, buttoned, pats his own back pocket, and realizes that his wallet has also been stolen.
Scene 9
Putting the wallet caper on hold, the duo is shown dashing to the Burlesque club to see about the dispute between the strippers. As they arrive, the manager confronts them about their late arrival, telling them that the two are about to kill each other. Walter is still very squeamish about the prospect of the ladies being unclothed. The two rush through the auditorium to a backstage area where we can hear the women arguing through a closed door.
Wendel knocks on the door with his billy club and yells, “Police…police!” As there is no response, Wendel opens the door, and a large white lamp is thrown through it, causing Walter to scream, “aaaah,” while pulling Wendel back out of the way.
The manager insists that they go inside and break up the fight. Wendel asks, “How many more lamps in there?” “None!” the manager answers. Wendel attempts to get Walter to go through the door first, saying, “Officer O’Reilly, the coast is clear.” As he ushers Walter through the door, another lamp is thrown through it, looking fairly identical to the first and eliciting another “aaaaah!” from Walter. The manager shrugs as they close the door again, saying, “Alright, so I missed by one,” before walking away to answer the ringing phone.
Wendel yells, “Alright, girls, we’re comin’ in.” Walter tells him to wait and reminds him of “Procedural rule 40.1: Avoid involvement in domestic quarrels in restricted quarters.” Earlier, at the police station, Walter had demonstrated a thorough knowledge of procedures and regulations, an homage to his efficiency as the MASH company clerk.
Wendel tells the girls to come out, and they do, still arguing. The manager comes back and tells Wendel that a sergeant is on the phone for him, so he has Officer O’Reilly take over. Walter tells the women he is going to take down their statements. One of the strippers says that the other one swiped her bird, Sweetheart. This is followed by more incoherent arguing and much jostling of Walter, who is standing between the women. The stripper accused of bird thievery suggests that the bird simply flew away.
Walter then hears something, reminiscent of his ability to hear the MASH choppers before anyone else. He asks whether Sweetheart is of the male or female persuasion, and the bird’s owner tells him the bird is male. He tells the others to let him try something and then proceeds to make warbling Dove calls. He soon gets a response from Sweetheart, who flies down from somewhere above and lands on Walter’s shoulder. Walter tells the owner not to scold Sweetheart because it’s mating season all year for doves, but this year they are “especially social for some reason.”
Scene 10
Walter and Wendel walk out of the club, and Walter immediately spots the kid who pick-pocketed them across the street, standing in front of the appliance store. He references him as the “kid with the broken arm.” I had not noticed before that he had a broken arm. Walter and Wendel finally realize that he is the one who stole their wallet. They yell at the kid, “Hey, Kid!” and he runs off down an alley, the two officers in hot pursuit. The chase continues around corners and down a street until Wendel catches up and grabs the kid.
The kid tells him he doesn’t have any wallets. His name is Elston Kranick, with a K and he has never stolen anything in his life. Wendel says, “We’ll soon find out,” and walks to a phone (there is always a phone nearby), and calls the police station, where Bigelow answers.
Bigelow asks Alice to get him a make on Elston Kranick, suspected of pick-pocketing. When Bigelow asks Wendel whose wallet, Wendel responds, “None of your business.”
Meanwhile, Walter is talking to the kid and learning things about him, including the fact that his mom ran off when he was little and his old man is dead. Wendel finds out that Elston is clean and decides to skip lunch so he can go get a trim (a haircut). Walter offers to take Elston for a root-beer float as an apology for falsely accusing him, even though the officers have failed to establish conclusively that he is innocent. Elston is hesitant but agrees to take Walter up on his offer, “but just one.”
Scene 11
Walter and Elston are at a table in the drug store, and Victoria brings the fourth round of root beer floats. The same old lady is enthusiastically playing the pinball machine in the background as in the first scene in the drug store, a gag that apparently is supposed to be hilarious but is barely amusing.
Victoria tells Walter about the store’s special on “genuine leatherette wallets,” and he tells her he would like to think about that. She expresses sympathy for his losing his wallet. He tells her it’s not losing the wallet that bothers him, but the photos of all his MASH friends, including Colonel Blake, who was like a father to him. “My own father died when I was just a little baby,” explained Walter. He mentions Hawkeye next, saying, “He was a great guy.”
During this exchange, Elston is obviously feeling remorse. When Walter stops speaking, Elston reaches into a pocket and pulls out the photo, laying it on the table. Walter is shocked. The kid asks him if he is going to arrest him, and Walter says, “I don’t know yet.”
Elston then says, “You said your old man died. Mine got it in Korea. I don’t have anything to remind me of him. A couple of guys in that picture kind of look like him.”
Victoria asks, incredulously, “You were picking pockets looking for a picture of your dad?” “No, lady,” responds Elston, “I’m saving up for a polo pony.”
“Hey, hey!” Walter scolds in response to this disrespectful attitude. Victoria tells Elston that he may not realize it, but Walter is just trying to help him. Elston then admits that, “It’s just that me and my grandma, we gotta get by somehow. That’s all.”
Walter says, “Look, Elston, I’m pretty new at this, you know. And I’m probably gonna get in a lot of trouble, but I’m not going to arrest you.”
“Hey, that’s neat. Thanks. See ya around,” says Elston, preparing to leave. Walter stops him and explains that he wants Elston to do something for him (which is not giving him his wallet back, for starters): “First, I want you to stay clean. And next, every Saturday, I want you to meet me here, just so we can talk about your life. You know, what’s going on with you; where you’re headed; stuff like that.”
Elston sniggers, saying, “Man, you think I’m gonna show up?” Walter responds,
“Might be the smartest thing you ever did.” Elston sniggers again and begins to walk away, but turns around and says, “See ya Saturday.”
“Oh, I’ll be here,” Walter calls after him.
Walter begins to walk off, but then turns around and asks Victoria, “Oh, listen, can I put this stuff on my tab, please?” Before this line, the laugh track is triggered early, as if we are supposed to laugh at the mere fact that Walter pauses before turning back around. There are many such examples in the pilot of misplaced laugh tracks. Even if the laughing had occurred in the right spot, Walter asking to put the root beer floats on his tab (because his wallet is missing) falls woefully short of being funny, just like most jokes in the show.
Victoria says yes, gives Walter his hat, and starts telling him that she thinks that he did a real nice thing. She holds onto his shirt and gets closer as he backs away. She then gives him a kiss on the cheek. Walter is awkward and shy, not knowing how to respond during this exchange, except to say, “Thanks.” Victoria is obviously expressing more than friendly feelings toward him. After the kiss, he says, “Oh, boy, jackpot.” She laughs as he has been backed into the pinball machine, triggering it just as he says, “jackpot.”
A Shamble of a MASH Spinoff
As ideas for a spinoff go, this was a shambles. There are some nice moments, and some glimpses of the old Radar, but the premise itself is just a silly attempt to trade on Radar’s “sixth sense.” After all, a cop with Radar’s abilities to know what someone is going to say before they say it, and with his extraordinary hearing, etc., might be interesting. While there are attempts to reference these abilities, the maudlin back story takes up much of the pilot, and it’s just impossible to get past the fact that Radar should, first of all, still be Radar, not Walter, and that he should be back in Ottumwa, Iowa.
I won’t comment on CBS trying to cash in on a Cash Cow like MASH. Why wouldn’t you try to make spin-offs of the most beloved television show, pretty much ever? Television shows are always made for profit. The question is whether this somehow has “soured” MASH fans about the ending of Radar on MASH.
The Walter spinoff, which you can view in its entirety on YouTube, aired only once, July 17, 1984. It wasn’t even seen on the West Coast, as it was pre-empted for the Democratic National Convention, which was probably just about as scintillating. It had fairly low Nielsen ratings. It was never shown again and was impossible to find even when streaming services became available.
The pilot was so unknown that a myth was spawned that it never aired at all! But CBS did air it as a “special presentation.” In other words, it wasn’t the start of a new show that got cancelled. It was just thrown on the air when CBS didn’t have anything better to do, never to be seen again.
Walter shows Radar O’Reilly in a starkly different setting than we would expect and it shows a much different Radar than we would expect. This should have been enough to sour audiences if they had seen the show. But, in fact, few people, even few MASH fans, saw it compared to the massive viewership of the final episode of MASH, Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen. It’s more accurate to say that few people have ever heard of the MASH spinoff Walter, than to say it somehow tarnished the ending of Radar on MASH. In other words, Walter had little impact on how people view Radar or MASH, because people simply didn’t see it and never even heard of it. Walter was, essentially, a non-event.
If you’re thinking, how could the MASH people do this, well, they didn’t. The producers and writers of Walter had never been involved in MASH. MASH producer Larry Gelbart had some choice words to say about this spinoff, saying it was ill-conceived (yes), felt like a witless ripoff of Police Academy, and lacked the heart of the original series. I’m not sure about the Police Academy (Keystone Cops comes to mind), but the rest is spot on.
The abject failure of the Walter pilot convinced CBS that there was no point in any more MASH spinoffs. It may have helped to get people who understood MASH on board, though.
However, I’m not letting Larry Gelbart off the hook, here. After all, he created AfterMash and directed a couple of episodes that’s how this whole sad, depressing, maudlin version of Radar began. I watched AfterMash, hoping to see some MASH regulars show up. Well, they never did. Even the ones that were on the show were depressing and sad. I mean, seriously, cheer up, AfterMash. We have a deaf, depressing, and alcoholic Father Mulcahy. And even Klinger has no purpose at all (for a show) because, once you get Klinger out of the Army, sorry, but he’s an ordinary guy. The reasons for his zaniness all but disappear.
Once a MASH regular did show up (Season 1, Episode 17, It Had to be You), it sucked. This episode was directed by Larry Gelbart, himself.
Everyone is set to drive to Radar’s wedding, meaning the Potter family, the Klinger family, and Father Mulcahy. But guess who shows up at the door? Radar, from 200 miles away. Not the regular Radar. Instead, we got a sad, depressing, maudlin, emotion-fest with an upset and despondent Radar crying over his wife having slept with his cousin, Claude Greevy. Honestly, though, the way Radar was acting there at the end of MASH, I can’t blame her. He was a pill.
There is no great reunion. No happy times. No reminiscing. The whole episode is trying to talk Radar off the ledge. Then his would-be wife, Sandy shows up. Drama ensues. Then Father Mulchahy marries them in an impromptu ceremony. The best part of the episode? When the phone rings in Potter’s living room and Radar picks it up and says, “Colonel Potter’s office.”
Did AfterMASH Ruin Radar?
And lo and behold, Radar’s wife leaves him as part of the premise of the Walter pilot. So, the writers and producers of Walter were just picking up what AfterMash laid down. The decision to have Radar’s life become an absolute shambles and his new wife leave him was an unnecessary fumble. But the whole, Radar’s life sucks motif began on AfterMash.
It may be fair to say that it wasn’t Walter that ruined Radar, it was AfterMash, a show that people actually watched. Yes, the wedding happened in the end, but the Radar we saw was pretty bleak, pessimistic, cynical, and, yes, I’ll say it again, quite whiny. In fact, this version of Radar isn’t far from the grumpy, “I’m completely grown up now” version of Radar we see in his last MASH episodes, Goodbye, Radar I & II.
The ultimate problem with Radar, or Walter, since the character abandoned his nickname, is not that his life didn’t go as expected; it’s that he basically received a personality transplant. The character we see portrayed on that episode of AfterMash and on the Walter pilot episode is a completely different person, with very little resemblance to our beloved Radar from MASH.
Sometimes, television gets too caught up in reality. Nobody wanted a “realistic” life for Radar. They wanted Radar. Even so, while people do change, they rarely become so unrecognizable. While Trapper John, M.D. was a very successful spinoff of MASH, this was not because of any MASH references. This “personality transplant” was also present in that show.
I do not doubt that the intention of the show’s producers was to dig Walter out of this hole and take him on a more positive journey. We see the beginning of this in the pilot. The problem is that it is hard to care. It’s just not Radar because Radar is Ottumwa and no matter what journey the producers intended, MASH fans would never want to go on that journey. We never wanted Radar as a cop. The notion is preposterous. We wanted him on the farm, where he could have weekly misadventures and perhaps use his quirky abilities to help with farming.
Gary Burghoff’s Role in RADAR’s Negative Changes
We can’t ignore the actor himself. It is no secret that Gary Burghoff had many personal reasons for leaving MASH. There had long been tension between him and other cast members. And, he had grown tired of the emotional toll of playing the perpetually innocent, naive, and shy Radar as Burghoff himself had aged considerably.
What are we to assume about Burghoff’s willingness to reprise the role that he had grown so tired of? Did he have a hand in crafting this new “Walter” persona? While there are glimpses of the naive and innocent Radar of old in the Pilot, Burghoff’s attempts to bring back the character as he was seem half-hearted, at best. At times, he seems to be phoning it in. If I’m being honest, the lack of heart in the pilot for Walter is not only due to the poor premise and shoddy writing, but it’s also because Burghoff’s heart is not in it. Unlike many MASH fans who seemed to view the Goodbye, Radar episodes through rose-colored glasses, I recognized this in Burghoff even then. He had been talked into appearing in additional episodes before filming his finale, and by the time his farewell was filmed, I had to wonder if he was angry to be there at all.
So, let’s not blame a failed pilot for ruining a character. It never became a show, after all. Radar was being ruined from the moment he left MASH at the beginning of Season 8, and this continued into AfterMASH and beyond. I suspect this tarnishing of our beloved Radar was a team effort. We MASH fans would do best to remember Radar as who he was on MASH, not what a bunch of misguided producers made him, if not Burghoff himself.
